Tuesday, December 28, 2010

100 joke, the more colder later (reprinted)

 1: Once a man fishing, caught a squid only.
Squid ask him: Do you let me go, do not I eat ah roast.
Man said: Yes, I ask you to consider a few question it.
very happy squid said: You test it you test it!
and then the man put the squid to bake ..
2: I have too schizophrenic, but now we have recovered.
3: A student in the U.S. driving test, turn left in front of signs suggest that he was not sure, ask the examiner:
br> hh then hung up ..
4: One day, 5th Floor, mung bean jumped from suicide, a lot of blood flow into the red beans; has been festering, he is a soybean; wound end up with scars, and finally into the black beans.
5: Small sensible hair, next to the school, the students see his new hairstyle, smiles: Xiao-Ming, your head like a kite Oh-type! Xiao Ming feel wronged, to go out crying. I cried myself ~ he flew up hhhh
6: personal long as onions, walked wept hh.
7: Little Penguin one day asked his grandmother, Grandma Grandma, I'm not a penguin ah? ; Yes ah, ah you are a penguin, how is it? > wedding day h
a corn corn h
find another asked beside the popcorn corn: the corn you see our family do?
popcorn: Dear, people wearing Wedding of the Well hh.
9: music class, the teacher playing a Beethoven tune
Xiao Hua Xiao Ming asked: ;
Xiao Ming: raise the dead, the living What?
A: Jiaojiu Ming 2!
11: Question: cloth and paper afraid?
answer: cloth afraid of ten thousand, the paper just in case.
reasons: not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, only the (paper) just in case.
12: One day a lady sat down midway car h
not know the way her mother had h.
mother said with a stick to hit the driver ass : Which?
Driver: This is my ass h..
13: an egg cup of tea to the tea, the results it became boiled eggs; an egg run the Songhua River to swim, the results it becomes the egg; have eggs went to a Shandong, turned into a Lu (halogen) eggs; an egg become homeless, it becomes a wild eggs; an egg on the way careful not to fall, fall in on the ground, turned into a missile; an egg go to the yard of the family, turned into a bomb; an egg go to the Tibetan Plateau, the results become a hydrogen bomb; an egg is sick, turned into a villain; an egg married, turned into a jerk; an egg go swimming in the river, turned into a nuclear bomb; an egg go to the flowers gone, turned into a Hua Dan; an egg riding a horse, holding a knife, that he is Peking Opera Blues; an egg or female, long ugly, the result becomes a dinosaur egg; an egg is male, his wife and the other eggs out adultery, and he became a son of a bitch ; an egg hh
14: host asked: Will the cat climb? eagle Responder: Yes! Moderator: examples! eagle tears: That year, I was fast asleep, the cat climbed a tree h later on With owl h
15: both feces shell dragonfly the welfare lottery, A said: I want to put in a radius of 50 miles award to buy down the toilet, eat your fill! B said: You Ah Tai Su a ! If I won the lottery to bag a living, eat fresh!
16: why the chicken cross the street
answer to get another side
17: A: That man is doing? < br> B: He was shaking.
A: Why did he want to shake it?
B: Yes he was cold.
A: Oh, not cold-drawn shivering.
A: hh < br> 18: Mr. Banana and his girlfriend have a date, walking down the street, the weather was hot, took off her clothes, Mr. Banana, after his girlfriend fell down hhh
19: a sausage is Off
feeling cold in the fridge, and then looked at the other side of the root, with the point of comfort, saying: ; I'm sorry, I'm popsicle. 21: This diver is very difficult moves, he made a swivel for three weeks then take a half forward somersault backflip three weeks a month.
22: MM University of got lost looking for. met a gentle professor.
MM: May I ask, how can I go to college?
Professor: Only work hard in school, be above University.
23: Secretary and Chief of pooling the elevator, the Secretary of the Division after the release of a fart Long said: You fart! chief said: I did not put the h soon be removed from office Chief Secretary said at the meeting: fart great things you can not afford to be magnanimous, to what you use?
24: Miss : Now the business is not good doing it!
boss: Why?
Miss: just graduated, did not find work, really do not have the money hh Do not worry, Allah will not grab one of us! , and you have a good lazy Yo, what with which to wash hh begging.
a drunk man walked by, that his poor, threw him a hundred dollars.
walking a few drunk one turned around to see the blind man to distinguish the sun goes one hundred yuan a large copy true or false.
drunk over snatched the money back: is for a friend look at it, he is blind, toilet, and I was really dumb. walked hh
28: Avian influenza mm are Why did Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit you?
AB: I do not know!
C: Because Adam did not smoke! (Hint: homonym of a word)
30: someone had just been abandoned by his girlfriend, happened to bump into on the street flirting with his girlfriend and the new love before he ever more gas, to humiliate them about. Then came forward politely greeted, and was contemptuously new love of his girlfriend, said: It felt like the People's Daily mm as real hh
32: just look at the top of the line of duty on the computer screen has a scroll bar things like news, the text above passes very quickly.
even curious to ask: This is the lyrics up ?
Sister: Yeah!
dual: how flies so fast? no see!
Line of Duty: Jay!!
33: Wife: I'm blind stepped on dog feces will marry you.
Husband: I was really blind will marry you step on dog feces.
dog feces: Oh my good luck! lay there have been two of you to step on ... ...
34: College Entrance Examination Chemistry question: A and B can be transformed into each other, B in the boiling water can generate C, C in the air oxidation of D, D has the smell of rotten eggs, and asked A, B, C, D of the What?
I A: A is the chicken, B is the raw eggs, C is a cooked egg, D rotten eggs of course, friends!
35: rubber, skins, lion's skin which the worst?
A: rubber.
because the eraser (rubber poor).
36: Q: 3 What is a foot tall thing???
answer: 3 foot tall monster!!! !!!
37: ants go to the desert, and why the sand did not leave his footprints, leaving only a line on the road?
answer: because it is the bicycle!
home from the desert ant , he did not inform anyone, but his family knew he was coming back! Why ah!
Answer: see his bike parked downstairs hh.
38: One day the police caught a female drug addicts Bureau, police saw her hand tattoos and asked her what are you doing to your boyfriend's name tattooed hands, he called the Little good is not h ah .. is not. fast, said that he did not .. h. A faster drug that an addict
looked up I saw that woman with the angry eyes of the police said

This is hate Rights h.
40: One day, driving out the United States and her boyfriend ride,
car almost out of gas, just next to a gas station, opened in the past, when a sudden gust of her boyfriend's hat blown off.
small beautiful boyfriend said to her:
I pick up a hat, you help me cheer. woods, careless to the gibbon droppings collected,
kind of apes the apes cleaned differentiate.
But soon they fell in love, someone asked how did you come together?
gorilla replied: ..
43: There was a duck called the Little Yellow, one day it hit by a car while crossing the road a bit and yelled: penguins, polar bears to his family and far away from home, and if by taking the case, have to go to get to 20 years. One day, the penguins stay at home, especially bored, ready to go polar bear to play, and he went out, but walked the road half the time find themselves forgotten to lock the door, which had gone for 10 years, but still have to lock the door, ah, then go home to penguins and locked the door. lock the door after the Penguins once again starting to look for polar bears, mean that he spent 40 years to the polar bears and penguins to their home hh door, said: it ~ ; Sorry, still no ah ah? br> 46: Little said: said:
48: a man, his stomach is not good. One day, he came to stomach the hospital, the doctor said: , said to him: down, pulling finished, on the polar bear said: ;
51: Q: What is the African cannibal chiefs eat?
A: people, ah!
Q: That day, the chief is ill, the doctor told him to be a vegetarian, he ate what?
A: eat a vegetable!
52: two sausages in the fridge, over a long time,
a bit of a shake with the sausage, wow! cold ah ~!
another very surprised to say sausage , Huh? how can you say sausage?
53: One day,
Bucks have only run faster and faster,
went to the last,
it becomes a high-speed Bucks
54: One day, a teacher took a group of adopted children to the mountains of fruit,
she announced that: went to pick fruits of.
set the time comes, all the children are gathered.
teacher: I adopt to apples. Oh, kids are great! that Amin you do? it was silent.
Teacher: Xiao-Ming?
Teacher: Xiao-Ming??
Teacher: Xiao-Ming! you how ah? you know the answer in the end ah? anyhow Zhiyi Sheng ah!
Xiao Ming: squeak ~
56: elephant asked the camel: l how long you in the back of Mimi? r
camel, said: l die away, I do not and the penis with a long in the face of things Speech!
57: how to make drink larger cups?
read Compassion
58: Xiao Ming: A few degrees today?
Xiaohua: minus 3 degrees Ah!
Xiao Ming: No wonder this What cold
59: A little boy came home from school a glimpse from the window of a mad woman lying in bed rubbing my chest, a man shouted to a man I want!
little boy again the next day that woman from the window and lay out of date man,
the little boy went home and cried in bed mad rubbing my chest I want to bike to bike!
60: Once upon a bird,
him every day through a corn field, br> But unfortunately,
patch of corn field one day, a fire,
have become all the corn popcorn!!!
......< after the bird in the past br> that snow to cold dead ...
61: that there is a polar bear, because the snow was too harsh, and have to wear dark glasses to see things,
but he can not find the sunglasses, so close crawling around on the ground looking for his eyes, goes up and up Yeah, the hands and feet dirty crawl to find sunglasses. wear sunglasses, mirror a photo, and found: Oh, I was a panda .
62: science class the teacher asked: Why is a cold body after death?
no answer.
teacher asked: no one know?
At this time, a student who stood up wrote: That is because �ľ���Ȼy.
63: Xiao Ming in a car accident lost a leg,
Xiao Ming in a car accident and lost a leg,
another accident lost his small clear the other leg,
small out in a car accident and lost his leg,
fact Xiao Ming is a dog.
64: One day, A, B, C three people go out, go on the road free Akira for a long time.
A later said,'m bored, I want to play B.
then C saw A look, put the B onto the alley to go play.
65: The three little The first is just going to the toilet
rabbit pull the
second only long ball of the triangle is actually the third
the
ask it: I Yong Shounie the
66: Taiwan When will want unity?
buy instant noodles when
67: One day Xiao Qiang asked his father: ; Silly boy, how did you do that silly? Xiao Ming beat his dog, was unhappy to say: beat the dog to see the owner, heard of you?
when Xiao Ming said: good! I watched you and your dog while playing. < br> 69: Bugs: flowers, do you do with my pencil?
flowers: No, I did not use.
Bugs: You're useless?
flowers: I'm useless! < br> Bugs: Well, you are useless in 17 people admit to a
70: ants after falling off from the Himalayas is how to die?
answer: starvation. too floating down light ~ So take a long time h
80: Why do dogs get smaller?
A: Because it is farther and farther.
81: Once there was a horse! it Paozhaopaozhao to fell into the sea.
Therefore, it becomes a . Later, he became car to run over, making him appear a good few black stripes.
a result, it becomes a factory, the result is transformed into an escape, became a non-horse world hh
Then, a group of people could not help but after reading this joke, said: , it was compiled into a class, we call it to pay, otherwise hh, chopped off two fingers; the day after tomorrow, then hh, in cutting the four; the first 3 days, then hh
Xiao Ming: Is it not also the people who
banks: NO, that time you Tinker Bell into a.
83: a personal encounter God
day is good when God suddenly going to give that person a wish
God asked: Do you have any desire to do?
who wanted a would like to say: I heard that cats have nine lives, then please give me 9 Mania now!
God said: Your desire to achieve slightly!
day, that person idle boredom,
to said to die a death anyway, 9 Mania Well
to lay the tracks,
results of a train in the past,
the man was dead.
Why is this? < br> because that station has 10 train cars.
84: a guy to the hospital to be examined, and has done a lot of testing.
doctor said: There is good news and bad news! read your test results , I find that you have potential homosexual tendencies!! and difficult to cure!
this guy said: Oh my God! that the good news then?
doctors shy to say: I found you quite lovely yeah
85: a hunter with his dogs to hunt for a slip of the day in the woods are not prey.
dark, not willing to keep riding, he was transferred in the woods,
horse suddenly said: l You do not give me a break, think I'm exhausted ah!? r
shocked to hear the hunter immediately roll down from the horse, pulling dogs to run away, ran panting under a tree during a lesson dog patted his chest and said to him: l scared me, actually talking horse! r
so hunters are scared to death on the spot
86: wolves, tigers and lions who play the game will be eliminated? wolf
because: Momotaro (out of the wolf)
87: A day pick a mirror facing the mirror of the talk about the importance; this good side of people familiar ah
B said; is? I see (pick through a mirror), I ah! I do not know you, ah?
88: A tomato and tomato B to go shopping.
B Q A: Where are we going?
A does not answer.
B asked: Where are we going?
A or no answer.
B asked again.
turned on Tomato Tomato A B said: We are not tomatoes come from? Why do we say that? < br> 89: Once there was a white and a black cat white cat
day

cat fell into the water to save it up on the black cat white cat said
word
Q: What does?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. < br>.
.
.
..
: : The Big Brother, why do we eat shit every day?
big wrote: Do not say when to eat something so disgusting!!
92: Cao Chuan Lu Su in
: Arrow can borrow it? Mr. Kong Ming?
Lu Su: : Monkeys eat peanuts before going into the bottom a chance to eat first.
this manager explained: It has been fed peaches,
Peach not pull out the results, monkeys scare, and now we must content good eat.
94: peripheral hospitals to prevent the escape of 100 patients, two patients still want to escape the mental hospital. the night falls over the wall hard. to 30 under the wall,
? tired. We turn back now , the four boys were electrocuted to! guess an electrical appliance.
Con: ah .... do not know Jesus ~
Xiao Ming: The answer is Hey!
96: Small & R: Dad, why do we have a hump?
Camel Dad: Because there is no water in the desert, there hump can store water ah!
small Luo: Dad, why do We have a long woolen?
Camel Dad: Because the desert wind, we have relied on block wind and sand, we will see ah!
small Luo: Dad, why do we need to have a thick hoof it?
Camel Dad: Because the desert is sand, so that we stabilize ah!
small Luo: Dad, the last question, then we are doing here at the zoo?
97 : hen incubates the eggs, with eggs from its ass drilled out
hen: name is her home movies. to her home after,
pen she wrote on the wall film r l word,
watch the two of us up to sit on the toilet.
100: a morning to a known tough Executive Morning soldier asked: > soldier replied:

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